i used baking grease as lip gloss
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
