This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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