Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
