You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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