hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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