Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
either way he was missing a nipple.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
