just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
