Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
