I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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