Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
