You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize