i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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