It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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