Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
