I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
