If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
