A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
