..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
