If i come over, it means nothing
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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