I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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