I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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