so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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