I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
