You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
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Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
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