I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
