I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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