i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
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