She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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