Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
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