Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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