Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
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