a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize