I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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