Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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