White coat. Heels.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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