I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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