im drinking this country out of the recession.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
She told me I should be a condom model.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Randomize
