My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
