I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
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OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
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sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
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