I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize