You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
