Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
