Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?