i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.