They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick