Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Don't tell me you're on acid again
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize