The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
