scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
