I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Randomize
