So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Woke up backwards on a recliner
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
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