I feel like abortions should bother me more
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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