I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
