TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
