i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
