we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
