question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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