I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Im part way to drunk.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
