You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Randomize
