Please, let me fuck your mom
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
