I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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