I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
They are going to name an STD after you.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
