You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
