my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
