as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
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