just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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