Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
